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Home Forum essays in The Christian Science Monitor.
"Behind every good shoe is a story"
"He said, she said -- on teeny, tiny notes"

"So you have a media interview coming up?"

Do you work for a non-profit or neighborhood advocacy group? Run a large corporation? Operate your own business? At some point, you’ll want press coverage or the media may contact you. When that happens, what do you do? (Hint: “panic” is not the correct answer!) You welcome the opportunity to get out your message.

What’s your message?
Every organization, whether it’s a neighborhood advocacy group or a Fortune 500 corporation, has a message – the reason it exists and operates the way it does. It’s important to know that message and be able to articulate it clearly, with examples, facts, and stories to back it up. No matter what the actual topic of the interview, your message is the underpinning of everything you say. Make sure you know how to state it convincingly and succinctly.

Get it across
Always knowing your message helps you get back to it no matter what you’re asked. So if the question is “won’t bringing a halfway house into the community make it less safe and lower real estate values?” the first part of your answer could be “We understand the concerns and will work hard to be good neighbors.” The second part of your answer is your message: “But studies show the way to help former inmates be productive members of society is to bring them into a positive environment, surrounded by better role models.” Then, give a fact or story to support your message.

After most interviews, the reporter will ask if you want to add anything else. Never say no! It’s your chance to once again get your message across.

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Print Interviews
When talking to a print reporter, either in person or on the phone, assume everything you say is “on the record.” If it’s over the phone, ask if you’re being recorded. To ensure you’ll be quoted properly, tape your end of the conversation and let the reporter know you’re doing so. Offer to provide other materials for the story.

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Television Interviews
Find out if the interview will be live or taped. If it’s live, you need to be highly prepared. Usually this requires some coaching with a media trainer or the PR staff where you work. The shorter your time on camera, the more preparation needed. Know your messages and make sure you smile!

For in studio interviews clothing should be on the tailored side to give you credibility in relation to the on-camera host. Women should wear jackets with shoulder pads. Men should avoid button-down collars, as they tend to add extra shadows. Spread collars put the focus on your face. No wild patterns, stripes, or sharp color contrasts that distort the camera picture. Women should wear lipstick and everyone needs face powder, especially men with extra high foreheads.

Don’t move anything! You may think your chair is too close to the host. It probably is for social situations, but on camera it looks just right. If you have a book or other item you’ll be discussing, show it to the producer in advance in case they want close-up shots. If you hold it up on camera, bring it near your face so it can be seen.

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Radio Interviews
Find out if you’re going to be live or taped. If taped, you can repeat something if it doesn’t come out right. If it’s live, just keep going.

To sound your best (if you’re not in the studio), use a land-line telephone instead of a cordless or cell phone. Stand up. You’ll have more energy in your voice if you’re standing. Turn off any other phones that might ring while you’re talking, and go to a room that has lots of sound-absorbers. Carpets, upholstered furniture, and drapes will give you less echo than hardwood floors, picture windows, or granite counters.

Deadlines
If a reporter calls, says there’s a tight deadline and you need to talk now, you don’t usually want to say yes. Ask the following questions: when, exactly, is your deadline? What type of information are you looking for? What is the overall story about? Who else have you spoken to?

If you think it’s a good idea to grant the interview, ask for time to gather the information and check facts, and have them call you back, even if it’s in just a few minutes.

Afterwards
After the story is printed or aired, thank the reporter and offer to be a resource in the future. If there was an inaccuracy, point it out nicely, and give the correct information. If it was a major mistake, ask if they can print or state a correction. Use the story different ways: put it on your website; use quotes in your marketing materials; leverage it to position yourself as an expert to get speaking engagements. You did the work, now make it all work for you!

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"Helping your kids speak in public"

Do your kids like to speak in front of others? Probably not. But confidence in public speaking is important, even at a young age. Children deliver oral reports in classrooms, are interviewed for private schools, give bar/bat mitzvah speeches, and perform in drama classes, just to name a few examples.

If your children are nervous about public speaking what can you do? Aside from giving them lots of encouragement and providing informal opportunities to speak at home, there are three basic elements of good verbal communication that, if practiced, can help them be less nervous and more confident:

Body language
Voice Tone
What to say

Let’s start with body language: We’ve all heard how important first impressions are. They’re actually crucial in public speaking. Your kids can have really interesting things to say, but if they shuffle their way up to the front, slouch, and look at the floor instead of into the eyes of their listeners, they may as well be reciting from the phone book. If they move with purpose and look confident, even if they’re not feeling it, they’ll go a long way towards making a positive impression on their listeners before they even speak a word.

Here’s an exercise: Have your kids practice good and bad body language – even to the point of exaggeration. Make it a game where they demonstrate body language that’s the complete opposite of what they’re saying, and then correct it. For instance, have them declare “I know exactly what I’m talking about” while shuffling their feet and looking at the floor. Then have them say the same thing standing up straight and looking you in the eyes. Have them do it in front of a mirror or put it on video so they can see the difference.

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Voice tone: Many kids – especially girls – get into the bad habit of making statements sound like questions. You’ve heard it: “I got called on in class today? And the teacher said I gave a good report?” This vocal habit is a disaster, not only now but later in life, and if a child doesn’t stop this habit when young it may become very difficult to quit later on. Even if your child has lots of self-confidence, copying their friends and speaking with a vocal up-tick implies a desire for affirmation from others every time they speak, rather than confidence in what they know.

Another problem is lack of volume when talking in a pressure situation, often due to nervousness or shyness. Here’s where deep breathing before speaking helps. A deep breath supports the voice and gives it more carrying power.

Exercises: To get rid of the vocal question mark, have your kids practice saying a sentence both ways – ending up and ending down. Record it so they can hear the difference. During the day, if you hear it creeping in, perhaps ask what the question is until they eventually stop.

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For breathing, have them stand in front of a mirror and take a deep breath. Their shoulders should not rise; in fact, only the area below the belly button should be expanding and contracting. They shouldn’t start to speak until they’re already exhaling. That way the voice will ride on their breath instead of starting with a catch in their throat.

What to say: So your kids have gotten the hang of looking and sounding confident. There’s no hint of question marks when they make statements. Their hearers are ready to assume the best. Now it’s time to actually say something. A basic rule of thumb, whether giving a book report or a bar mitzvah speech, is to start with the big picture and then get to specifics. At the end, go back to the big picture. For instance, if the assignment is “What I did on vacation,” they wouldn’t start with “we went snorkeling and saw colorful fish.” They’d start with “We went to Hawaii.” Then they’d get to the specifics of the trip, and finish off again with the big picture: “So we had a great time in Hawaii.”

Exercise: Have your kids practice going from the big picture to the specifics and back again. Make it a game. You say something specific: “traffic stops at a red light,” and they come up with the big picture: “Drivers have to obey traffic laws.” Or, you come up with the big picture: “Our family eats breakfast together,” and they have to come up with the specifics: “Some days we eat cereal and some days we eat eggs.”

Learning to speak comfortably and confidently in public is a great benefit for your kids, no matter how young they are. If you encourage them to have confident body language, strong voices, and interesting things to say it will help them enormously in school and beyond.

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"Overcoming the Fear of Public Speaking"

Speaking in front of others can be empowering, energizing, and often essential for success in your career or to persuade others that something should be done. Most people have the opportunity at some point, whether it’s giving a toast at a wedding, a pep talk to a sports team, a bar mitzvah talk to a congregation, a presentation at town meeting, or a formal talk to conventioneers.

Is it possible to get over a fear of speaking? Of course! People do it every day, and so can you!

A key ingredient for losing your fear:

Care for your audience. As you’re planning to give your talk stop thinking about being nervous and how you’re going to perform, and instead think only about your audience. Find out as much as you can about them. Then consider these questions:

Why have they come together as a group? What’s in it for them to listen to you? What are they expecting from you?

Once you have a feel for what they’re expecting, your job as speaker is to fulfill those expectations, whether it’s for information, entertainment, instruction, or an experience. Put yourself in their shoes – they’re expecting a speaker who confidently and engagingly shares interesting information with them. So as long as that’s what they get from you, they’ll concentrate on what you say and not on you as a person. If you’re a local celebrity, they’ll be expecting stories about you – so share them.

Giving them what they expect actually takes their attention off you as a person and onto your information or the experience you’re sharing with them. You may feel like an actor at first, but keep concentrating on your audience’s needs and expectations, and soon you’ll lose your fear.

Of course, to have the audience focus on your message, you need to have a good talk!

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So what do you say?

Once you’ve pinned down who your audience is and why they’re there, you can come up with the main point of your talk – the one sentence answer to the question, “What’s the talk about?”

For instance, let’s say you’re a professional musician who’s been asked to talk to teachers about improving arts education in the public schools. They may want to know how to find musicians who can bring their instruments to classrooms to give kids a hands-on experience.

Once you’ve got your one-sentence main point (“Contact local orchestras and chamber groups to find musicians who can come to your classroom”), you can build your whole talk around it. Make sure to tell stories (“I once played my cello in a third grade classroom and…”), bring in some data (“studies show that children who meet musicians in person often want to play an instrument”), and get your audience involved (“How many of you learned an instrument because you met a musician when you were young?).

At the end of the talk remind them of your main point and where they can get the local information they need. If you take questions from the audience, make sure to close the session with a repetition of your main point so it’s the last thing people hear. In fact, they should hear your main point many times and in many ways: at the beginning of your talk, in the body of it as you bring in new ideas, and at the end.

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Presentation tips:

Now that you have a fabulous talk, it’s vital that your body language supports rather than sabotages you. As soon as you arrive at the venue your body language is giving the preamble to your actual presentation. So, as you walk into the building stand up straight, hold your head up, and smile. When you’re speaking, look audience members in the eyes, (no top-of-head-skimming!), keep hands out of pockets, don’t fiddle with your hair or tap with your pen. To keep the focus on your talk instead of you as a person, wear appropriate clothing that doesn’t draw attention to itself. This isn’t the time to wear glittery fishnets or a chartreuse shirt!

Tell your talk -- don’t read it word for word! If you need to look at notes, just jot down one-word reminders or short phrases. Reading a whole talk is the quickest way to put your audience to sleep. Even if you stumble a bit, it’s more natural and communicative to just say your talk than read it.

Do remember to breathe! Deep breaths, down below your waist, will help keep you calm and your voice under control. Drink room-temperature water to keep your mouth moist.

If you focus on your audience and your audience’s needs – actually care for them – you’re not focusing on yourself. If you’re not focusing on yourself, you won’t be nervous. It’s simple. It just takes practice!

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More more information on how I can help you (either in person or over the phone), contact me today!